Signs Seen At Various Foreign Establishments

 

  •  In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
  • In a Leipsig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up.
  • In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
  • In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A. M. daily.
  • In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
  • In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastary: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
  • At an Acapulco hotel: The management has personally passed the water served here.
  • On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
  • In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
  • Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
  • In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
  • In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
  •  A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
  • On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
  •  Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop, Drive Sideways.
  • In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today – no ice cream.
  • In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
  • In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
  • At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
  • In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.
  • From comedian Mark Guido: Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.