Funny Ads and Signs

Bloopers
Bloopers are real-life slips, Freudian or otherwise, written spoonerisms and examples of incorrect meaning.

Funny Ads and Signs

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery.  We do it carefully by hand.
  • We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for £1.
  • No matter what your coat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
  • Save regularly in our bank.  You’ll never re-get it.
  • For Rent: Hated flat.
  • For Sale: Diamonds £20; microscopes £15.
  • We build bodies that last a lifetime
  • See ladies blouses.  50% Off!
  • Sheer stockings.  Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
  • Our bikinis are exciting.  They are simply the tops!
  • Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated?  Come here first!
  • For sale: A quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
  • Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
  • Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale
  • And now, the Superstore – unequalled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivalled inconvenience.
  • Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a ridiculous figure.
  • When you are thirsty, try 7-Up, the refreshing drink in the green bottle with the big 7 on it and u-p after.
  • If you can smell me you are too close!  – sign on the rear of a bakery lorry
  • Drive Carefully.  The loaf you save may be your own.  – on the back of a bakery lorry
  • We make keys to everything except Heaven and Hell; those you make yourself – on the back of a locksmith’s van
  •  Big, huge, gigantic, staying in business sale!  – in a department store in Florida,USA
  • Satisfaction Guaranteed or double your rubbish back!  – on the back of a rubbish lorry
  • Free Snow Removal  – on a rubbish lorry in Sunny Florida, USA (??)
  • Rubbish collection and catering  – on lorry of a private rubbish service.
  • Please don’t die in our washing machines – in a laundrette in Ohio, USA